One Jiggly Conversation

It wobbles, it jiggles. They're squishy, and a major topic of conversation in our house.

I'm talking bums, people. Tooshies, bottoms, peaches, your rear end. Alex is OBSESSED. Today we just had the most absurd conversation ever. All about bums.

"Hey Mom, why is your bum so jiggly? Why are all ladies bums jiggly and wobbly when they walk?" He then did this bum-shaking move to illustrate the point.

"Well, mine has extra fat on it." I said matter-of-factly. I thought that was the end of the conversation. Not so.

"So, is that why your trying to lose pounds? Because your bum is so squishy, and jiggles and wobbles when you walk?"

Seriously? He should be a motivation counselor.

"No, Alex. Why is Mom trying to lose pounds?" We've talked this one over before.

"Because you want to be strong and have good muscles and hop and jump and skip and surf and run and climb."

"Right. I'm getting healthy and strong. It's got nothing to do with the wobbly and jiggly stuff."

"So, why does my bum jiggle when I walk?"

Alex has NO fat on him. He's lean and runs 50 mph through the day.

How to explain this?

"So, does a horse's bum jiggle when it walks? What about a lion?"

"Yes! It's funny and does this..." He then does the jiggle walk.

"So, is a horse jiggly like my bum?"

"NO! Horses are strong! And muscly!" He flexes for me.

I then explained the difference between a flaccid muscle and a flexed muscle. Physiology 101, all based on jiggly bums.

He now thinks he has a horse butt. I totally agree. But I have a "Wobbly, jiggly bum, just until you become a horse." RIGHT. Just what I was aiming for.