Disgraced in the Heart of Ikea

It's been a rough few days.

Where has my indomitable attitude gone? The days of total immersion into motherhood and nothing else has worn me down. I miss my husband, it's waaaaay to hot here to function, and I can't keep up with the mischevious antics of my 4 year old.

Today was my day to go away. Get out of town, get some projects done, see friends and go to Ikea (sanctuary). 20 miles into my trip, one of the twins is crying so hyserically that Alex has his hands over his ears and is screaming in unison. Amazingly, the other twin slept through it all (she's definitely my girl). I decided to head to HQ instead of Hill AFB to get my new military ID. Struggling with two cars seats and trying to herd my 4 yr old, I get the front door open to see a dark lobby. I (like a dope) FORGOT about the 4/10 schedule of the National Guard. It's Friday. No one's working. The security guard apologized a few times and offered to help me back out, but I declined and got everyone back into the car to head to Ikea.

I love Ikea. She is my Tierre mater, my sanctuary, my few moments peace. Today she let me down. Smalland was FULL. At least an hour wait to get Alex into the the play place. He refused to accept that answer, and had to hear it from the worker. She told him, he proceeded to melt down. Already exhausted, a rivulet of sweat forming in my cleavage and lower back, I asked Alex if he wanted to go to the cafe for Soda and fries (a lot of 4 year old probs are solved with soda and fries). Jack is crying hysterically at this point (his pastime), and Brooke is filling her diaper(her pastime). I heaved the twin stroller through the food line while Alex pushed the lunch tray caddy into stranger's legs. After my 15th apology to someone with freshly bruised shins, I was dragging the stroller, holding Jack and trying to run after Alex who was streaking down the restaurant with the food tray full of glass plates.

We sit down, and I was losing it. LOSING IT. I was ready to crawl into the fetal position under that dirty table and never come out. My hands were shaking as I was trying to make two bottles and rice cereal for the babies, all the while they are screaming and Alex had just run away.

At this point I nearly gave up.

A woman (an angel in human shape) came up to me, and asked if it was okay if she fed Jack. She was a grandma whose daughter had twins in Michigan. She said, "I would really like to help you, as I hope that someone would do this for my daughter in MI." I started sobbing. SOBBING. I was a snotty ball of tears, grateful for this moment of humanity and relief. We spoke for a while, she was expert at getting my mind of the situation, and after the twins were done with the bottles, my nerves were gone. This woman, in from Portland to visit her daughter, had saved me in ways she will never understand.

Deployments suck. There are times when this get REALLY hard. Today it all came to a head, and I nearly threw in the towel. What could I have done? Well, that dirty floor was looking awfully nice to crawl into a ball upon. I did, however, sob like my babies in the Ikea Cafe. Ugh. What a bad place to lose it. I was so embarrassed I didn't look up from my veggie wrap until everyone who was sitting around me had left.

A woman from Portland saved me from an under-the-table-fetal-position-cry-fest. I know she will never read this, that I may never see her again, but to my foodcourt angel, may God bless you for your kindness.