2007 in Retrospect

Asilomar S.B., Pacific Grove, CA
Alex and "baby fella"(his favorite otter)

Pacific Grove, CA in spring and full bloom

Alex on his 3rd birthday

We spent NY's Eve last year on our couch, with the best local Mexican take-out in Seaside. We toasted in 2007 with the emaciated Carson Daly on TV and six bottles of Sangria. What was running through my mind? I was relieved that I would spend an entire year with one address. I was happy to know that all of 2007 would be in Monterey, CA. I also dabbled with the idea that perhaps we would ring in 2008 with a new baby, and I'd thought of going back to graduate school after Michael's schooling and M.S. was completed. Everything I'd expected, hoped for, dreamed of and contemplated was completely opposite from what 2007 actually held. I ended up with a difficult church assignment, another skin cancer scare, debilitating illness from a twin pregnancy, and a very rough October, but the most difficult news of 2007 was the move and the orders for deployment. The move from CA was #16 in 6 years of marriage, and this deployment could not come at a worse time. Michael will leave "for the sand" a few weeks after I give birth to our twins.

So, I was joking with a friend a while back that my pregnancy-hormone-laden rants have been sparse recently on the blog. Well, you asked for it! (har har)

Here's what 2007 taught me:

1: Dash your own expectations at the starting gate.

What we expect and what really happens in life rarely coincide. Was life truly meant to be easy? Seriously. Oftentimes we look to another person's life and wish with all the emotional effort we can that it was our own. What purpose does that serve? You will end up disillusioned, stressed, and it all shows up on our skin and in our hair (you think I'm kidding. Research the mind-body connection, and then you will find scientific proof that stress will kill your physical beauty). Besides the superficial reasons to leave your expectations behind, life can be far more pleasant if you "roll with the punches," "take the zen approach," or just find a gracious manner in which you can accept the challenges you face.

Oh, and by the way, put the stick down, and let the dead horse BE. This simple act of dropping pet arguments within any relationship will both display your development of maturity, and merit you respect from the other dead-horse-beater.

2: NEVER EVER FORGET WHO YOU TRULY ARE.

I have faced a lot of pivotal moments these past few years, moments where I have faced worries for my mortality, and now my husband's. Also moments where I have over-compromised to the point where I felt like a shell or just a semblance of who I was. I'd mourn the loss of my talents, my language abilities going to waste, or just resign myself to a very immature pity party. Whatever life deals out, never forget who you are. God has given you talents and abilities that will prove useful in the strangest places. Who you are and what you are can never be taken from you.

3: Find joy.

It's there, even in the hardest of times. This pending separation has been bittersweet, but we have moments where we can find joy and retain it, sustaining us through the ebbs and tides of life.

What does 2008 hold? There are few things I stand certain of. Of a surety I can say I will be in this house all year. Now there's a blessing within the challenges! This will be a rare year where we don't have to order new checks and address labels. Michael will be deployed, that is a 2008 truth. We will have two new members of our family, with God's will! Other than that, no more expectations. I'm following Benjamin Franklin's school of thought: being mildly pessimistic means that you are oftentimes pleasantly surprised, whereas the reckless optimist finds much disappointment.

Having said that, there is a difference between goals and expectations. How often do we honestly "work" towards our expectations? C'mon. Usually expectations are a defense mechanism geared toward blaming someone else for our lack of attaining something. That's not accepting personal responsibility. Whereas if we set goals, we are conscientiously aware of what we are or are not doing to attain some mark. No passing the buck.

I think the best New Years resolution I could set would be this: In 2008, no more expectations. Just action. Oh, and I resolve to roll with the punches. It's going to be an interesting year!